Seriously, if I don’t have time to maintain and update, I sure as shinola don’t have time to clean up after spammers.

Those of you who came here looking for poker tips or pharmaceuticals; I’m sorry. Thanks for understanding.

Okay, so, I’m like TOTALLY revamping the site. No, really! Step one is to undo all the mistakes I made as a PHP NOOB. I thought I was making my life easier. Oh…no. I so was not. I’m a bit smarter now. Smart enough to know that you don’t take on a CMS or a forum as one of your first PHP projects.

Probably will make the archival links back into good, old-fashioned, hard-coded HTML. Fortunately, I did have the good sense to keep backups, so that shouldn’t be a monumental issue.

Then, I have to convince my partners in crime that they can come and post stuff and I won’t blow up the site next week. Hey, guys? GUYS? Come play! I swear, I won’t take away my ball. Not this time. For real!

I extend my sincerest apology to Ms. Massengill and her friends. We do not condone plagiarism.

In the mean time, links will break, content will appear and disappear, and things will be generally chaotic. In other words, business as usual.

Thanks for being here!

About 1:00 in the afternoon, we left our chairs and went to gaze out the window, drawn by a sudden, intense wind that seemed to come out of nowhere. The sky was clear; no dust storm lingered on the horizon. The wind bent the palm trees and tortured the shrubbery. It flung debris all over the place, with no hint of where it had come from or where it was going. No sooner did it arrive, than it was gone.

This brief downburst did little damage. It did serve as a wake-up call that no matter how calm things may seem, they can change at any moment.

This isn’t news. What we often forget is that we can cause change, even choose it, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need to do. If we don’t make choices of our own, life will make them for us. We need to learn that life is right now; not tomorrow. We need to live each moment.

We could keep feeding you cliches, but we’d rather show you that yes, these things can be done. You can make choices that change your life in ways you can’t begin to fathom.

Read this issue. You’ll find stories of people who took risks - both small and large - that lead to love. You’ll learn how to live on (literally) a song. And you’ll get some hints on how to let go of the amorphous fear that threatens to grip us all. We hope you’ll find a smile or two, and maybe the motivation to take some risks of your own. You may be amazed at the results.

Are we recommending ignorance? Of course not! Well, maybe, a little. But only the blissful kind.

Okay, it’s like this. Post to the forums. Read the newspaper. Vote. But at the end of the day, once you’ve done your duty to your country, do your duty to your…well, you know where that one’s going. (Don’t you?)

For those of you whose minds aren’t perpetually in the gutter, we bring you tips for war-time perkiness from “The Happy Guy”.

All in all, this is a pretty shallow issue…but we’ve been away so long, we feel compelled to to test the waters before diving back in to the deep end. We hope you enjoy.

Now and then, however, Highway 169 shows glimpses of being something more - it widens to four lanes, for no apparent reason; it offers up well-groomed rest stops and small towns poised for growth. One wonders what greatness this insignificant alternate route might acheive if, instead of 169, it were I-69. But something far more insidious than an obscure name prevents Highway 169 from reaching its full potential.

The truth became apparent on our recent journey home from Tulsa. We left our room at Embassy Suites just as the free breakfast buffet was wrapping up. The opportunity for plenty seemed meaningless in the face of the hungry masses battling for one last trip through the line. Stomachs rumbling, we determined to make our way to a Denny’s or I-HOP on the way to the freeway. But the I-HOP had no smoking before 2:00, and the Denny’s was not where I recalled. No problem - we’d grab a bite north of town.

Half an hour later, we reached the northernmost suburbs of Tulsa, where fast-food signs beckoned. Surely, amidst this sea of quickie burgers and tacos, there would at least be a Waffle House. But no - we had our choice of gasoline and ground beef, but little more. Again, no problem - we could make it another half hour to Coffeyville.

Coffeyville is the first town across the Oklahoma to Kansas border on Highway 169. In the past, its sole purpose for exisiting was to provide full-strength domestic beer to clueless Okies. Though small, it is a prosperous town, boasting several decent hotels and motels, two Wal-Marts, a good variety of fast-food restaurants and chain stores, an Amazon.com warehouse, a minor airport, and at least one “Gentlemen’s Club,” as well as a major office-supply chain. We had no doubt that Coffeyville would offer up a Denny’s, an I-HOP, a Waffle House, and perhaps more. I could already taste my Grand Slam, All-American, or Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity.

A cursory drive up and down the main strip offered no clues as to the location of Breakfast Heaven. Unfazed, we stop at a gas station to ask for directions. According to the clerk, our only chance for breakfast at 12:30 on a Sunday was at the dubiously named Cactus Grill, at one of the local motels.

Hopeful, we arrived at the restaurant. Inside, we found a typical motel diner, replete with disguntled senior citizens, ill-behaved children, a buffet of largely unidentifiable food substances and, for spice, a pudgy older gentleman playing showtunes on an ancient Wurlitzer organ.

After several minutes, a perky-looking hostess with the social skills of a gnat escorted us to our table. According to our menus, breakfast had ended at 11:00. The menu, purporting to be “Tex-Mex,” offered a variety of grease-laden entrees, from pork chops and club sandwiches to steak cuts “for biggo boys’ appetites.” After several minutes without a sign of a server, and the organist playing a bouncy version of Andrew Lloyd Weber’s “Memory,” we decided the indigestion we’d suffer from eating was far worse than the hunger we were feeling.

Anyway, Iola was only an hour away.

But there was nothing but fast-food there, either.

Our last chance was Paola, a mere 30 minutes from home. Again, we found the usual selection of standbys. Defeated, weak and hungry, we went to McDonald’s. The Grand Slam would have to wait for another day.

I propose the following: Any town with a population of more than 1,000 people, located adjacent to a highway, should be required by law to provide travelers with at least one 24-hour breakfast destination. They torment us with their speed-traps, flaunt their quaintness with antique shops, and assault our eyes with tacky road-side craft shops - the least they can do is provide us with eggs, any style; hotcakes, waffles, or French toast; bacon or sausage; grits or hash browns; white, wheat or raisin toast; and a nice hot cup of coffee - all for less than $5.95. This is America, isn’t it?

How did the early settlers survive - those who followed Highway 169, anyway? It’s enough to make an otherwise sane person consider moving to Nowata to open a franchise. (If you do, let me know - I’ll be your first customer.)

During our breakfastless journey, Highway 169 was being prepared for extensive two-laning. Perhaps, in time, this lovely, lonely road will become better traveled. Perhaps weary truck drivers will demand their right to cholesteral any time. Until then, we have only this to offer: There’s a Denny’s on Santa Fe in Olathe, and one on Sheridan in Tulsa. Don’t leave home without it.

What we did on our winter vacation: Well, lots - but the main reason we’ve been away has to do with a wee disagreement with our original domain name registrar, Network Solutions. We’ll bitch about them once we’re through dealing with them - if, deity of your choice willing, that ever happens.

But that’s all boring - we have so much to talk about! We’re all watching Survivor IV, and V is in the works. George Bush is still president and we have a fun new war or three. John Edwards has crossed over to network TV. There’s just so much stuff to catch up with ya’ll on…do come play in the forums and let’s talk. If the topic of your choice doesn’t exist, start it! We’re easy, we’re open, and we want you there. (We’re looking for lots and lots of moderators, too, if you’re interested. Well, not that we want to moderate anything, but, well - you know!)

If you submitted a work to Cherrymagic prior to about July 1, 2001 - there’s a good chance your submission was lost in the Great Operating System Change That We Don’t Talk About. PLEASE resubmit - we had lots of good stuff in the pipeline and we’re mighty peeved to have lost it. We promise to back up better from here on out.
We’ve added a few syndicated articles to Cherrymagic and we plan on adding more - please let us know if they enhance, detract from, or otherwise affect your Cherrymagic experience. They sure make things easier for us - but that’s not what really matters. (Right?) If nothing else, give us kudos for using “affect” correctly, assuming we did. (A good place for all this is in the new forums, tentatively named The Pit Stop - you can also tell us if you love or hate the name. Just talk to us; that’s all we want.

And on that note - there’s a lot that’s probably not QUITE working yet. We DO want to hear about this stuff. We’re doing our best to proof and test, but you just never know what’s going to slip past our eagle eyes. Please report problems - don’t expect a personal response, but wallow in our eternal gratefulness, nonetheless. Thanks.

Stay tuned!
Cherrymagic